I Miss You So

Di na ko marunong magsulat, pero dahil marami na ko utang na fic, eto sapilitan, hahaha, pagtyagaan nyo na...

Special mentions - the_BRUHA, ellehcar817 (their twitter names), just because i am an absentee twitter buddy and i adore their compliments, it makes my heart flutter *grins*. and to my ff-addicted chinggus, you know who you are, love yah!


You lift the glass to your mouth and let the amber liquid flow and burn your throat, as you stare at the woman who had starred in your dreams the moment she came into your life and haunted it the instant she left. The woman you had promised to love and to cherish, the woman you hurt and pushed away, the woman who for the past hours haven't shown any indication that she knows you, that you were once a part of her life.

You both belong in the same industry so meeting each other was never a mystery, she is the epitome of what a man wants and what a woman wishes to be. You were an antsy youth the first you two met, and her being the quintessence of a dream girl, yours to be exact, didn't help in the matter. The second, third and other random meetings and bump-ins didn't redeem your first impression failure, but still, you must have done something really good in your past life to warrant a chance to work with her... closely work with her. You landed the best job in the world, you played her pretend husband for eight months, you wanted it longer but you were owned by your management company at that time and you had no say in such matters.

But then, the heart doesn't concern itself with trivial matters like time and space, it doesn't know of boundaries, it doesn't measure and weigh, it just beats to let us live... and love.

Being with her was, in your perspective, the closest thing to heaven. Looking back, you were a few steps away from it, but a moment of doubt took all your chances. Your heaven is a grand mansion, a penthouse, a humble room, anywhere she's willing to live, the place you'll remain for eternity; your ambrosia is her smile, her laughter, her stares, sweeter than any a god had ever tasted; your nirvana is her, living with her is a calm no other can give, a balm to your exhausted body and tired soul. It was... almost...

You were young then, the reason you forced yourself to believe, the truth, you were a weakling. You wilted when faced with a problem, you showed fear and hesitation, you let go of her hand and turned your back. You still clearly remember that night.

"A rumor about an idol having an intimate relationship with one of his sunbaes has been on top of every search engine all day, haven't you heard?"

"I did."

"So what do we do? It's obviously about us..."

"Calm down, the writer didn't hint on any names, so it is still relative."

"Calm down? How can I, when the life that I worked so hard on building is on the brink of tumbling down? How can you stand here and tell me to calm down? What do I do if it comes out that we're together, how will I deal with it, huh?"

"I don't know, either. It's too early, how did they find out, I haven't think this far..."

"That's exactly the problem, we didn't think this through, aaah, I don't know, I need to get out of here..."

It was just a moment, but that was all that she needed.

You received a text message from her saying that everything will be okay, and the fool that you were thought that she understands, that you were forgiven.

That was the last you heard from her.

You know that you're unworthy, undeserving, but that didn't stop you from missing her, from loving her.

That was three years ago, you're still the heartthrob that girls and women fantasizes about but you also became one of the most sought after leading man in the industry, a respectable singer and songwriter, one of the brightest multi-media Hallyu star and now is in the process of breaking the international market; while she had gone to conquer Europe - she raised the charts in the UK, she graced countless magazines in France and Italy, and her fashion creations are visible in the whole continent, apparently, she came back to do the same in Asia.

Yes, she came back.

You approach her, hoping she wouldn't run, but the glint of pride you see on her eyes told you that the thought never crossed her mind.

"Anyeonghaseyo," you greeted.

"Hyun Joong-sshi," she quipped, direct and distant.

"You look good, ani, you are beautiful!"

"Komapta, you're not so bad yourself," she smirked. "How are you? Have you been good?"

"Ani..."

"Huh..."

"I miss you so," you confessed, no sweet talk, no lengthy explanations, just a sincere plea for a second chance.

To My Mother

Like a flower...
you bloom with rare beauty and charm.
Like a bird...
you soar up with such confidence and pride.

Like the sun...
you smile with total warmth and tenderness.
Like the sea...
you create waves of inspiration and love.

I have never seen
a lady as lovely as you;
Nor have I met
a person as caring as you are.

You've thought me everything I know,
You've given me everything I need.
You've done a great job rearing me,
You're the best mother, indeed!


*** I wrote this several years ago, when I still see life as a fairy tale, the way I look at life had changed drastically since then but the way I see my mother remains the same and it'll forever be. I love you omma, Happy Mother's Day!