What's In a Name? (Part 3 - A)

Finally, an update. Don't you just detest my laziness *grins*? Actually, this time, I have an excuse, been sick, was confined for two days, because I am a friggin' glutton *lol*, most of my cyber friends know (read: if you don't know, it just means one thing, we're not, hahaha, kidding!) that I am allergic to certain kinds of seafoods but none the worst than squid and they also know how stubborn and hard-headed I am, eating and sampling a few once in a while. I get out unscathed most of the time, because I am always equipped with the right meds and allergy-busters, but some times I do get punish for all my wrong deeds *grins*, and so I did, but I am fine now, ready to write you a decent enough efef and have a taste of calamari again *tongue out*.



She went out of the restaurant and left, willing herself never to look back, determined to build a life without him.

She sighed, 'Freedom is bittersweet.'

She was welcomed home by the incessant ringing of the phone which she didn't bother to pick up, every ounce of energy she has had been sucked out of her, now all she wanted was to lie down and rest. 'Another failed attempt on an anniversary celebration, third on my list, all with the same man. Oh, why is my future so bleak?' Even her thoughts made her weary.

Her mind and heart had took on a grueling task and was just begging for some repose but the respite that she so desired, was also the respite that she couldn't have, just like Kim Hyun Joong, the only man that she dreamt of spending forever with, the same man who didn't gave her forever a chance.

She was lying in bed prompting herself to win over the ceiling in a staring contest, a battle of will, when she heard the silent creak of an opening door, "Darn, I forgot to change the code again." For every time she seek refuge at her place after a fight, the drat man that she so love was able to sweet talked her to a reconciliation, all because he knew the code to her security lock. She was that easy, she was hopelessly in love.

She rigidly wait, pretending slumber, torn between her will to face reality, to let him go completely, and her wish for a fairy tale ending.

She felt his weight beside her, so she braced herself for an onslaught of tender words, words of repentance, words of endless promises, but she felt like eternity had passed before she heard him whispered, "Hye Jung-ah."

And her heart sung of love all over again, her mere name coming from his lips was enough to thaw the ice that she had been coating her heart with. 'Oh God, give me the strength to resist, please force my heart to understand that I can't live like this, not for long...'

"Hye Jung-ah please... I know that you're awake, I had watched you sleep for a dozen times, for every time I made you wait, for every time I made it home late, for every time I woke up scared that you're not beside me anymore, for every time you fell asleep after we made love, the tranquility in your face, in your form, I know all about it; I'm sorry but your light and constrained breathing gave you away. Let's talk," he pleaded.

She steeled herself from his beseeching voice, willing herself to stay still.

He waited... for a response, a nod, a twitch, any sign that she's listening, that she still care. But he was awarded with none, "I know that you're angry, I know that you're hurt, I know that you've given me a second, third, fourth, fifth, hell, my hundredth chance and I know that I screwed them all up, I know that I am not the best boyfriend, I won't even compare to a regular one" he smirked, contempt on oneself. "Bloody hell, I even know that you can find a man hundred times better than me, someone who will always be at your beck and call, but what do I do, I love you too much to just let you go. I love you too much to..."

"Marry me then," she cut him off, a challenge and a plea.

He was flabbergasted, he didn't expected that, not from her, if it was her way of shutting him up, she succeeded big time.

He looked funny with his mouth ajar, his hand suspended in mid-air, his body immobile, he looked like somebody stunned him. She would have laugh, if she wasn't feeling aggrieve, if she wasn't dying of a broken heart.

Minutes had passed, but it seems like a lifetime to both, "No?", she choked, using all her mental prowess to bind her brewing emotions, to settle the score.

"Hye Jung-ah, you know that I want to, it's been our plan all along... but... it's not yet the time, I am not ready, my career's just taking off, my fans..."

"Arasso," she said, stopping his litany of excuses, "I understand."

"Hye Jung-ah," he called in the tiniest of voice, scared of what was to come, of her verdict.

"Then, we both know what to do," her answer, her voice firm, her face free of emotions.

"Wha-"

"I want something that you cannot give," she continued, blocking his words, unwilling to give him time to think of a rebuttal, of another way out, she was scared, because more often than not, her mind looses to her heart, and her heart doesn't belong to her anymore, he had ruled over it eversince they got together. "And I am tired of being the adult in this relationship, I am tired of being patient, of giving in, of waiting, of hoping... I want a break, I badly needed a break -"

"A break, a space, I'll give it to you, whatever you want, I'll wait in the sidelines, I'll wait until you're okay, I'll wait patiently, until you're able to call me, until you say my name."

"I wanna start anew."

"We will start anew, I will be better and we will -"

"I want out Hyun Joong, I want out," she whispered, drained.

He staggered under the power of her words, 'she wants out, after years of trudging the high waters with me, after years of being together, she wants out, like it doesn't matter, like it's that easy.' He stared at her, his hand balled into fist, pain written all over his face. "I know it hasn't been easy," he begun, "but we... you and I, we belong together, we are meant to -" but he was cut off.

"We are meant to part ways, we are destined to live our lives separately, can't you see, we had tried for three years, but look at us now, we still weren't able to make it," agony laced her voice but her words were firm, she was determined.

"Hye Jung-ah, listen to me..."

But she already made up her mind, his unwillingness to make her a priority just sealed it. "I'm exhausted, you know you're way out," was her reply, an end, to their conversation, to the discussion, to what they had.

She burrowed deeper in her bed, pulled the blanket up to her chin and turned to her side, away from him.

He just looked on, rendered speechless, his heart broken, his fire to live doused off.


Ang chapter 3 - B susulatin pa lang, kung ako sa inyo di na ko aasa, hahaha...