In A Second

To the efef hunters, you know who you are, this is for you from the bottom of my fat-saturated heart, nyahahaha!

EDIT: Bubuyog, busy momma ang papel ko eh, I only get to write on weekends so pansamantala eto muna, sure naman ako di mo pa ito nababasa, hahaha... i'll super try to write you one this weekend, oki :)


People often complain that it took them a lifetime to fall in love, but the truth is, one only need a second to do so. A second to feel that hitch in your once normal heartbeat, a second to feel that jolt of electricity at the tip of your fingertips, a second to feel that itch at the sole of your feet. What takes a lifetime is the road to realization, it is the journey that takes us a long time. And inopportune to some, by the moment that they realized what it is, it has already passed them by.

The lucky ones, always catch on at the right moment, but then, isn't the long wait an unnecessary waste of time?

I'm not a connoisseur at love, I won't even pass as a call handler on those love hotlines, but I, Kim Hyun Joong, have a story to tell, not to brag or anything *cheeky smile*.

Hwangbo Hye Jung and I work in the same industry, we are both singers and entertainers; we were once a part of an idol group, I still am but SS501 is in hiatus at the meantime, we're both leaders of our group, and get this she and I were both designated as rappers in our group. With all those similarities, you'd think we're twins separated at birth, but we're not, thankfully.

We are colleagues but we never were a part of the same circle, there were a few instances when our world collided - a few TV guestings together, performing on music shows, a hosting stint with her as the guest, a bit of modelling here and there and run-ins around the TV and radio stations and recording studios - but those were scarce and fleeting.

And then it happened.

My management company coerced me into filming a variety show about celebrity married couples, no, let me rephrase that, a variety show that force celebrities to act like married couples. I was hesitant at first, very hesitant, imagine me doing something like that when my normal reaction to everything ranges from subtle to extreme indifference, I was readily able to picture the awkwardness that will ensued. But what could I do, I am an entertainer after all.

First shooting day, in Jeju Island, I wasn't particular on who my make-believe wife will be but I thought as I am an idol I'll have one from those girl groups, a doll-like female, the kind of girl who can't do anything but be cute even if her life depended on it. I had my mind set that I'll be the older one and I can just pull her strings, but, I was given a better deal, my being a filial child must have touched the Higher Beings so they decided on blessing me... with her.

But it wasn't an easy start, as I presumed, our first day together was enveloped with awkwardness, aah, the inconvenience I put everyone through. She is an easy-to-get-along type of person, she welcomes everyone with open arms, she's warm and cool at the same time, she's a portrait of a girl-next-door come to life, albeit a little older (yah, don't you dare let that slip, have I mentioned she's a black belt 3 in Taekwando), while I, was never a talkative person, I often zone out during conversations, I tend to cower against authorities and new acquaintances, simply put I am a loner at heart, so imagine the hardships that I had to go through every taping, and her being overly awesome and beautiful didn't help a bit, I was always lost for words, stealing glances and secret stares directed at her was so pleasurable, the urge to talk almost always slipped my mind.

But it got better... and better... and better.

I don't know when that infinite second in my life happened, I don't know when was the exact moment when I felt that hitch in my heart, that jolt of electricity on my fingertips or that itch in my sole, I just realized one day that my life will never be the same without her, that if she decided to turn around and walk away, the gap, the hole that she will leave will just forever be an empty space because no one can replace her.

It was during our 100th day anniversary, it was an episode where we spent more than twenty-four hours doing our wedding photoshoot. She was, and still is, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in a wedding dress, I almost choke on my delight when she presented herself. The entire time that we were filming, she was always clad in those fashionable outfits, she was always prepped up, she was always gorgeous. But seeing her in a white gown, seeing her in a wedding dress was entirely different, I felt a certain self-exaltation that she's going to do the photo shoot with me, that she's married to me... of all the men in the world who could possibly stand beside her, it was me!

We went through all the hullabaloo and brouhaha of a wedding photoshoot, the torture and sweat, the happiness and laughter, everything, yes, even the feeling of being giddy, of excitement, of pride, it was like... for real.

Halfway through it all, it hit me, hard, seriously the vision almost knocked me off of my feet. The thought that she will do everything we had done, again, with another man, and for real, scared the hell out of me. The thought of her in another man's arms wrecked havoc in my mind and punctured my heart; the thought that she will one day turn her back on me sent chills to my spine, it was like the worst horror movie come to life, and I was the victim, I'll be the victim. It was really, really terrifying.

So right then and there, I made up my mind, I never once dreamed of starring in a horror flick, much more as a pushover, so I did, what has to be done... I made her mine, all mine.

So you see, falling in love doesn't take a lot of time, it took me 100 days to realized it but I am sure that I had fallen for her days before. It could had been that moment in the red convertible when she laughed like a madwoman on something that I had said, which I didn't find half as funny as she did; it could had been that night of our first barbecue, when she opened that soda bottle with a spoon, oh how cool she looked; it could had been that time when she ran on the beach and the skirt of her white dress hiked up a little, sexy; it could had been that time when she made me that pizza toast without the corn and yellow pepper, a wife material; it could had been that night when I carried her around the bathtub to our friends glee, and mine *blushing*; it could had been that day in the pool while we play, drink beer, talked and whiled away, like we're friends for so long; it could had been that time when I saw her garbed in a white sleeveless tee and pants, oh how lovely she looked; it could had been that time when she got sick knitting me a muffler, the guilt of not doing anything in return; it could have been that time when she went all the way to Japan just to spend time with me, what a keeper; or it could had been all of those pieced together. Truth, it doesn't really matter, what's more important is what lies ahead, what's important is that we fell in love and we are together.

Aren't I the luckiest guy in this world?

I was never close to my parents thus conversations among us revolves around the serious and the more serious matters. Because of that, my brain seems to have develop this inclination to seep through what we (brain and I) think is important and worthy of storing. One of the few that has a great impact on me, is the one about what's rightfully ours. Did you ever wished and prayed for something, so darn hard, but it still didn't come into fruition? And then there are some or, at least, one thing that became yours without even lifting a finger? My omma said, that stuff happen for a reason, that someone up there has this grand plan that we play a part of... that the thing, or in my case the person, I never ever thought of having and building a life with, just came and reshape what I had and what I am. It is her, and the likes of her, those we didn't dare to dream of, to wish and pray for but was given to us without preamble, that, those, are rightfully ours.

Good thing I listen to my omma, or I might have missed my chance...