Loving Me (Scenario Number Six - B)

Here's the story: the original plot of Loving Me is this one, it just so happened that while I was typing yesterday, my hand got the better of me and the story turned differently and as I don't like a head-swirling drama, I decided to make the first one a piece of its own. And based on manager-nim's feedback, it's actually good, though she didn't leave a comment *sad face*. There, that's it, I just thought an explanation will help you understand why the two consecutive fictions has the same title and the dash A and B thingamajigs. Oh yeah, blame the purple pills for the mess up, hurhur.



The phone rang, you picked it up and heard his voice, you didn't say a word.

You don't have to say anything, he doesn't need to speak, because you already knew what the call was all about, you've been through this a hundred of times, you can even give a seminar or a short course on how to handle stuff like this.

But, you are not a hypocrite... it still stings, it still hurts and even your broken heart can still break. You wonder, to how many pieces a heart can break into.

You listen at his melancholic voice, you listen as he trudge on the familiar river and stagger in the waves, you listen as he told you that he can't make it today, just like the long forgotten todays of the past. You try hard to listen as he spewed more words of apologies for weaseling out of your date, for the nth time, you stop keeping tabs eons ago. You tried hard, but you just have to try harder to listen, as he strewn promises of making up and doing something better, when he is able to, when he is free, when he finally finds the time to spend with you.

You used to boast of your ability to listen and your endowment to understand, but this winding and unending pattern of canceled dates, mute regrets and apologies, and unfulfilled promises is beginning to take its toll. Your age-old composure is beginning to show some cracks, the veil of your patience is thinning by the minute and the fine line between love and hate is on the verge of extinction.

You feel pathetic, but, as you are you, you continue to listen. You're loosing grip, but, as you are you, you're holding on as if it is life itself. You feel like drowning, but, as you are you, you're fighting to be afloat.

You feel like giving up, but... you continue to listen...

'I am stronger than this, I am HwangBo Hye Jung!' you said to yourself, trying to seize the ongoing battle in your mind, in your heart, in your soul.

"I understand, later then," you acquiesced, you have finally found your voice.

He said the three-word-phrase that used to brighten your day as an end to his phone monologue, and deplorable as it may sound, you fervently hope that it still has the same effect.

But, even your brightness seems to suffer depletion and at the moment, only one of its ray has the remaining light.

You put the phone back to its cradle and let out a sigh.

You relax your rigid back and let your eyes wander until it rest on the two VIP tickets that your longtime friend has given you. He has an ongoing musical and he had invited you, several times, he even sent his manager to personally hand to you the VIP pass and the premier tickets before that.

The two of you have a long history together, you know he adores you more than the lady friend that you are now. You never really reached the point of courtship but he threw more than enough hints in the wind, and you're not numb not to feel it. You guess, he never found the courage to step up and venture out of the uncertain, he may have thought that it was too much of a risk to your friendship. Though you never officially cross the border, unconsciously flirting with each other seems to be a game you both enjoy to play. And the people around you are not blind not to notice.

You stare hard at the printed piece of paper that you are holding, he even asked you to bring your boyfriend along to watch but as your man seems to know every details of your life, you know he wouldn't agree, you know that he wouldn't even let you go on your own. You know that he imagines an invisible link that connects the both of you, he is zealous like that.

You read the title of the theatrical act - Lunatic, it seems interesting, it looks like fun and attending the play can also open up the chance to celebrate your birthday with him, it has been ages. And the thought of staying home, waiting, will just drive you to lunacy, and you don't intend to be the literal title holder of your friend's musical, you haven't dream that far yet. You allow the smirk to show.

You get up and walk straight to your room, intent on wearing the same dress and stilettos that you bought specially for today. You style your hair and put on make up as you previously plan, it still is your birthday after all, and not just because the person you are suppose to celebrate it with gone AWOL, you'll forget everything you want to do. You are going to celebrate your 30th birthday and it's gonna be a night to remember even if it is with a different company.

You hit it right on target when you thought that the musical will be fun, it was, actually, beyond your expectation; the whole act was superb and Kyung Rok's performance was flawless. The wink that he directed your way was sign enough that he recognize your presence and you're more than happy that he did. An hour after the curtain's down, you are on your way to one of Seoul's high-end restaurants to celebrate your birthday.

You are in the middle of a sumptuous dinner and a healthy conversation when you spotted him, you saw him first, that, you are sure of. You start to bow your head down but your effort is too late, he already caught a glimpse of you. And so you looked on, you looked as he say something to the matron and his manager, you looked as he made his way towards your table and you looked on as he silently question you.

He stand before you with his practiced demeanor, just like an old acquaintance, his boiling wrath carefully hidden. But as you know him so well, you clearly read the menace in his eyes and the animosity in his stance, but you're not backing out, you're done being the last option, or just being a second choice... even just for today.

"Annyeonghaseyo!" he greeted, he nodded at the other man's end but he never exactly look away from you.

His stare is like a challenge, inciting you to respond. You give him your sweetest fake smile and bow down a little, you hope you convey your greetings, and your message, well. You see the dangerous flash in his eyes, your little act seem to irk him more, you applaud yourself for doing so.

"Annyeonghaseyo Hyun Joong-sshi," Kyung Rok greeted in return. "I didn't fancy seeing you here."

"Same here my boy, same here," Hyun Joong muttered under his breath, foregoing all the social decorum that is expected of him.

He said that in a whisper and he's not even looking directly at him, but you're sure that your friend heard him well, and the force emanating from the words would certainly stun him.

He locked eyes with you and asked intensely, "What is this?", revealing a little of his anger though he speak in a contained voice.

You study his face, and arch an eyebrow, as if you are questioning his intellect. "Dinner," your mono-syllabic response.

You saw your dinner-mate grin and that gives you more confidence to stand up to him. You're treading on dangerous waters but you don't give a damn. Not at the moment anyway.

You see his face contort as he control his emotions, your toes curl in apprehension. "Why?" he tossed you a generic question that seems to engulfed a whole lot more.

"I was hungry, he was hungry, we're both hungry, so to eat together is but a logical solution to what we thought was a problem more than an hour ago," you explained lengthily as if everything will be cleared just by doing so, you even end your speech, err, your answer, with a cute smile.

He glares at you, as in he intensely glares at you, and then he spat, "You wanna play with words? I don't have time! Now, I'll ask you once again, why are you here... with him?" He said every words with such fierceness, you would have cower if you're not Hwangbo Hye Jung, you would have cower if he didn't pushed you to your limit.

You discreetly look around, he certainly have all the patron's attention now, with his stiff posture, deep scowl, and powerful voice, who wouldn't take interest?

The man in front of you seemed to take offense, you know your friend, he's one of the kindest person you've ever known and the incorrigible man's comment would not have mattered if it wasn't directed at you. You reach out and hold his hand as it rests on top of the table, you tap it once, twice, you look him in the eye and shake your head, mouthing "people, public".

You muster a smile though you're boiling within, how could he, how dare he, "Leave! Don't make a scene!" you uttered the words without breaking a gap in your smile, just like a trained ventriloquist.

Your companion beams at you, he seems so proud of what you have accomplished, 'Has it been that bad, these past two years? Is that why my old chum acts like he wins an award or something just because I grew my spine back? Am I that miserly?' you stagger at the thought.

He, your beau of two years, looks at you, deflated. His dislike for the other man emanates from him as well as his distress for your actions. But his intense stare holds sweet promises... and you almost waver... he have that much power over you, you know that by now.

But today is different, today is special, today is your birthday and today, you will love yourself, you will live for yourself. Today you will defend your fortress and even Kim Hyun Joong won't be able to break in.

He bid his goodbye and silently walks away, he strides past his manager and out of your sight. A few minutes later, you saw his handler with a pastry box and paper bags full of take-outs, he searched for you in the crowd and when your eyes met, he bow down and took his leave. Ten minutes later, he's back, he went straight to your table and handed you a note, you're familiar with the scribble and decided on reading it later, you smiled and thanked him and he went away. You feel sad for the man, he's stuck in a battle he doesn't know existed.

You had fun with Kyung Rok, when the tension was finally blown away by the wind, the two of you dine and chat like nothing ever happened. He asked for a small cake so you can make a wish and blow your candle but as you are both celebrities, the matron gave you a complimentary one, one of the perks of being in the business, you both agreed. It sure is a happy night, three hours-full of delight sans the confrontation, three hours-full of filling in, you sure missed a lot, and three hours-full of being yourself, of freedom.

You went to the ladies room to freshen up, and to read the note - I'm heading out first, I'll see you at home. You have an hour to finish that up. You looked at the paper, you crumpled it, and throw it at the nearest trash bin. "Not today, I owe today to myself!"

Your date, he said that he is your date tonight, the man is relentless, you'll give him that, brought you home, with a promise that his assistant will drive your car back to your apartment early in the morning. You didn't go back to your flat, you decided to spend the remaining hours of your day at your own house with your family, though they are already asleep when you came in. Truth be told, you really want to spend the day with yourself, from what you've learned, you already lost a part of your identity and getting it back even for a day feels really wonderful, you guess, you miss a lot.

You're about ready to go to bed when your hand phone rings, you know it's him, you decided to ignore it. But fifteen minutes later, your phone is still ringing incessantly, you pick it up and see more than a dozen miss calls, you decided to give your phone a rest and pick up the second it rings again.

"Buin, where are you?" he plunged in, wasting no time in proper phone etiquette.

"Home," you simply answered.

"Home? I am home, I've been home for more than three hours and I haven't seen even a shadow of you. What's the matter, buin? I know that I bailed on you again, this time because of a drama filming, I am really sorry, I will make it up to you, I promise. Please come home... please," he said in litany.

"Hyun Joong-ah, I'll come home tomorrow, I just need to be by myself tonight," she let out a sigh. "Tomorrow, I'll be your buin again but today I just want to be Hye Jung."

"Buin, mianhe... I've been a selfish bastard, I know I need to be hit, but I want to celebrate your birthday with you, I bought you a nice green tea cake, that's your favorite flavor, right? I order all your favorites in that restaurant and I set the table, too, you're the only one missing buin," he pleads.

"Hyung Joong-ah, tomorrow, okay. I'll be there early morning and we'll eat everything that you prepared. Tomorrow, I promise. I'll hang up now, good night."

You take a deep breath, you claimed your today, how about your tomorrow...


Note: I tried to write in present tense but I failed miserably, so please bear with it. Aaaahhh... what to do?